Supersize vs Superskinny inspired

10 Apr

It’s not about what you’re eating, it’s about what’s eating you

I’ve just eaten three nakd cocoa orange bars – 7.5 points of snacking…for breakfast…and more than 2 days worth of points in total today.

so what’s eating me?

As Dr. Jensen asked the morbidly obese person in this week’s Supersize vs Superskinny, is it habit? loneliness? boredom?

I think it’s all three.  My green smoothie didn’t work this morning.  I ran out of spinach and instead of going to the store first thing I tried frozen spinach which doesn’t blend as well and it was really thick and gross…so then I ate three nakd bars and some ryvita and cheese…

Not long after I ate a microwave meal and a pizza.  At that point I went shopping and bought everything necessary to have a zero point dinner and actually stay on track but I didn’t feel like cooking.

I ordered sushi – I had a lot of internal struggle about it first.  I’ve been really good at budgeting my food spending this month and I wouldn’t be able to accurately reflect the points.  Then 40 minutes after ordering the restaurant called and said it’d be extra to deliver so I cancelled it – it was a sign?!

Instead, I ate a relatively healthy dinner of veggies, salsa, a couple of points of cheese and some fruit…it would have passed…except for the chocolate.  AN ENTIRE BAR OF CHOCOLATE! 16 POINTS!!

TMI – that time of the month started today, I flaked on my volunteering today, I let them down and then I continued to let myself down ALL DAMN DAY. 

I was bored, yes.  I was lonely, yes. I was frustrated at myself, yes. I was (am) hormonal, definitely.

I want to succeed at this.  I really, really, truly do. I just want these 30lbs GONE. But today I didn’t act like that was the case. Today I didn’t help myself at all.

I deserve better than pizza and microwave meals and chocolate bars. I deserve to feel cute and happy. I really, really, truly do.

– CJ

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